Every breath

It started with my dad ‘snoring too loud.’

But I could hear him too. And I wished he would stop, just as much as my mom.

Until one day I found myself wishing on every dandelion, every birthday candle, on every shooting star to hear him snoring in the room next to me again.

And every breathe I blew, every wish I made I made it with my whole heart.

People say everything works out, everything happens for a reason.

But how do you tell a girl, who grew up watching Disney fairytales they are just stories.

How do you explain that wishing for her parents to find the will to love eachother again was just the start. Just the name calling by the world.

That in a world full of beauty, magic, and love

exists a mirrored life.

I’ll tell you. The way I taught myself

as I grew up wishing for anything but was.

By drawing connection

that without endings, there are no beginnings.

Without night lies no dawn,

Without fear lies no courage.

With no time lies no memories,

With no loss lies no love.

Life is made of both,

we are made of both.

One cannot breathe, nor fully live without the other.

So when I find myself wishing, on every clover, every number seven, and horseshoe;

I stand still in my chaos,

and remind myself,

wishing isn’t about changing the past,

but believing in the fire still waiting to be lit ahead of me.